Damn and blast

The cat's ate all the bloody paté!

Pie oh pie

Why is it, that the time you go up the shops without a scrap of make up on and with your male flatmate in tow is the one time there's a cute guy within a 5 mile radius of your backwater of a town!

Fan fuckin (I'm never going to have sex ever again am I?) tabulous.

Also LC has reminded of the wonder that is Mastercheat and the huge amount of histrionics accompanying the current series. But why oh why can someone tell me does it have to impinge on my pie eating enjoyment. I don't know what Mr MacDougall is playing at but can you please return to your normal steak and mushroom pie recipe and not something with steak from only the finest rare breed fed on luxurious lush green grass from the outer Hebrides complete with chanterelle mushrooms found only in the remotest part of wanker island.

I mean c'mon it's a bloody PIE!

From whence she came...

(told you I'm no good at tittles).

So then straight on the back of the COC wearing I was back in Londinium for the BFi, TFi, South Bank, Arty thing that was the GW special event. (didn't get lost, got this tube thing sorted I tells ya).

Twas good but I won't bang on about it as this is not and will never be a GW blog (see previous posts re unanonyminity - lovin that word) but got home at about 2.30 am and luckily had morning off work. Got to meet some lovely people and apologies to Pashmina who I may have frightened with my over excited huggage. Spoke with some lovely writers (again) and actually got the chance to have a conversation with the lovely Cello who I'd totally missed speaking to at the bin wearing event. Unfortunately didn't get to see Patrocolus again so have missed out on bloggers yet again even though I did knock her man up to purchase a couple of yo-yo's.

(yes I did wear a bin, act as an auction slave, play SOD and skate round Tescos but no I didn't have any chocolate cocks!)

Anyway life has returned to dullsville and a bout of ickiness which resulted in me at work on Wednesday pm quite frankly drugged up to the eyeballs and barely registering what my boss was saying to me. Though to be fair its hard to concentrate on important words when boss turns up with mismatched shoes and continues to get over excited by her use of Ebay and subsequent use of Penpal! Bless her couldn't ask for anyone better.

So work is dull and my damn course has been delayed again! Honestly there better be some damn fit blokes on this course (It was suggested there might be some firemen so things are looking up).

Otherwise this is the year I need to sort my life out, which will hopefully at least result in me moving domicile but that's not likely to happen until I get my arse in gear and sell the damn house! also a bloke would be nice.

Anyway its my anniversary on 14th Feb - mountain of maltesers to the person who correctly guesses the anniversary of what!

Love and squeezles to all.

In which Jools becomes an auction slave for the night

Ok so very brief report re Londinium as I don't want this blog become unanonymous (ooh new madey uppy word). Anyhoo weekend went something like this:

Friday:
Uppy, packing, ironing, ball hunting
Driving to Reading, teaage, hugging, car squeezing
Chauffered to Heathrow, hugging, car squeezing, fox's glacier fruits
Navigator to Hammersmith, parking space, FREE over the weekend, rejoicing
Unpack, remove arms from boot, drinkage, more huggage
Tesco's, drunk, skating, more drunk, bruise, bad behaviour
Lovely convo with strangers, collapsage

Saturday:
Early uppage and forceful showerage, poemage, followed by lardy breakfastage
Decorating skills needed, only the truly talented should apply
Thousands of huggage but no chocolate cock consumption
Winnage!
Got to shout 'perm headed wanker' at an actor
Runnage (don't do running, what was I thinking) and thankfully no muddage
Soberage
Hopscotch, furlongs, Auction slave, post its
Watching, singing, dancing, wearing a coc on my head
Collapsage

Sunday:
Repeat stage 1 of Saturday without the poem
Then repeat most of Friday in reverse
Photo fever resulting in PC melt down
Knackeredage

bibbly bibly bum

Yesterday I got paid to go and blewdey things up, tommorrow I'm off to Londinium and may wear a waste paper bin on my head.

Maybe this year won't be so bad...certainly would've liked the old horoscope to have forecasted that!

Please don't make the place messy whilst I'm away...but make yourself at home. :)

1st Book list of double O 7

Ok, so due to trippage to Londinium next weekend I have once again graced my local high tec library with my presence and have come away with:

Bram Stoker - Dracula (not cause of the disappointing Marc Warren thing on the beeb but cause of the great cover...just red fangs on a white background - cool or what?)
Ricky Gervais - The world of Karl Pilkington
David Nicholls - Starter for ten
Anthony Kiedis - Scar tissue
Lissa Evans - Odd One Out
Christina Jones - Love potions
H G Wells - The history of Mr Polly

So I'm pretty sure abut the last 3 as I've read the authors before, but what about the other lot...anyone read them, any suggestions?
Where shall I start and what looks befitting on a huge yellow and blue bus on its way to London?

Hoping you're all having a fab start to year. Snoggage update - still 0

Oh yeh and 'no contemporary culture knowledge' girl at work today started the day by wandering into the office with a freezer shelf. Well you would wouldn't you? and they say we're backwards in the sticks!
Actually this was after our attempt to improve 'no contemporary culture knowledge girl's' (NCCKG) comp temporary culture knowledge..which went something along the lines of:

Me - Right so let start with some bands then...ok have you heard of Metallica?
NCCKG - Oh yeh I think we might have their album, has it got like blood on the cover?
Me - Blimey that's good yeh one of them does, well done (proceed to inform band members names and best hits, thinking ok this might not be so hard)
Me - Ok so what about Suede then?
NCCKG - Oh yeh they're the ones that did that Christmas song didn't they......







(after much laughter and weeping and snottage, we eventually inform NCCKG..no darling that would be Slade, the ones with the big boots and dodgy hair). Bless.

and here I go again on my own......

Last year

Alcohol units - 1 bottle grenache, 1/2 bottle of asti (spewmanti), 2 large baileys
Hangover - ikkle

Minutes spent singing - approx 60

Snoggage - 0

2007 - present time

Alcohol units = 0

Milk = 1 pint

Tea = 1 but bet it can get up to 20 by end of day

Minutes spent singing = too early yet

Throwing up = 0

Snoggage = 0 (somehow I don't think a nice cuddle with the cat counts - joker picture below).

So great start to 2007 pah! It can only get better from here - can't it?