Pants

Posted 11 Jun

I am currently sat here in my pants and bra, waiting for my fake tan to dry and slowly turn me into a day glo traffic cone.
Believe me this is not a good look, but at least for once my underwear matches.

Well not so much matches as co-ordinates..i.e. both bits are black, matching would be a little extreme..I mean they're only work pants after all.
God, hope I don't go anywhere with any chance of pulling, the poor sod's going to be in for a real treat when he see's me in my work best.

So who else is blogging in their pants?

Serendiptiy - Does this count as a fetish post or just a bit sad? ;)

Tagged

Posted 8 Jun

I've been tagged by the lovely serendipity and as I'm a complete blogger's whore, I thought why the hell not?

"The rules of tagging: Once you have been tagged, you have to write a blog with 10 weird, random things, facts, or habits about yourself. At the end, you choose 10 people to be tagged, list their names, and why you chose them to be tagged. Don't forget to leave a comment that says "you are tagged" on their profile and to read your latest blog. Have fun!"

I'm also not going to explain any of my randomness, so feel free to ask away in the comments and I'll do my best to answer truthfully ;)

1.2nd and 3rd toe are longer than the first (sign of creativity apparently)
2. Attended a premiere at Leicester Sq once
3. Once owned a mouse named Sperm and a monster called Fred
4. Never been hospitalised, did however spend an hour in A&E waiting for a nurse on a Saturday night, after burning both my thumbs on candles.
5. I haven't been to the dentist for 16 years, I can open any bottle, beer bottle with my teeth
6. I was once give a bin bag full of porn (at work)
7. I've shot some pretty impressive big guns
8. Have 'done' a photo shoot with Miss Lovely Legs
9. I've been rescued by the coastguard
10. I own a ouija board


Daily Div (DD) moment - Unsucessfully tried to open the key safe by jabbing at it several times before realising I was using the wrong key.

The Daily Div

Posted 7 Jun

Ok, I think we can all rest assured that my dimness has returned to its normal state. So in celebration of all things a bit thick, I thought we could have our very own 'daily div' corner. Somewhere everyone can confess their divviest moment's during the day, without fear of recrimination and social stigmatism. (Although to be fair, do be prepared to have everyone laught AT you whilst trying to cover their own embarrassment).

So c'mon guys fess up, just what singled you out today (and every day) for being a complete dimwit?

I'll start the ball rolling (at 8am - we've got a long way to go, so this is just the start). Luckily didn't do this in front of an audience but I did attempt to put the teaspoon back in the fridge this morning. Of course if you have fetish for iced spoons, then I'm ya gal! ;)

*Actually maybe I should start a post about fetishes?....................

normal service has been resumed

Posted 6 Jun

Just in case any of my lovely blogarino's were getting worried that my turning a corner post indicated that the end was nigh for 'Jools is a total tit Inc', you can rest assured that Inc is still very much a growth inductry.

Yup not 24 hours had passed since the enlightenment which was 'correct knickerage' that Total Tit Industries went into overtime on the factory floor.
All I can say folks is that it's always prudent to pay attention when trying to using straigthtening irons and trying to straighten your thumb is likely to result in tears before bedtime and a thumb that looks like it's been auditioning for the part of Rudolph's nose.

Looks like the whole being an adult thing is out the window then...woo hoo, mini milks, sandpits and fuzzy felt for me.

Turning a corner

Posted 4 Jun

Regular subscribers to the blog will know that on occasion *ahem* I have been known to have difficulties with various objects/people/life in general.
In fact here at Jools Inc we've even trademarked the Jools is a total tit series.

However folks I'm delighted to say that today it seems as though we may have finally turned a corner on this! Yep at the grand age of 32 I actually managed to NOT put my knickers on sideways this morning.
There was a slight wobbly moment when I had put my foot into the wrong bit of my pants which would've resulted in sidewaysage, but nope I spotted my rookie mistake and took preventative action!

I am so chuffed, I finally feel I'm on the upward curve to becoming a fully functioning responsible adult (no one mention the ash blonde pubes...ok!).

Loads of Kudos to me I feel.

*We're not of course going to mention the fact that I dropped my mp3 player in the bath the other day. Which surprisingly didn't result in electrocution but did result in a whole heap of songs which now go...glug glug glug...where's my rubber duckie...splish splash......which as you can imagine Messrs Hetfield, Rose and Vedder are not best pleased about.