Total Tit - Dramatic encore

Posted 14 Apr

Advice for not making a total tit of yourself – part 3 (or whatever – I've lost count there's so many).

Tis not advisable to go on a German school exchange as an impressionable 15 year old and embarrass yourself in ways that you will still recall when you're in your 30's.

Such as dumping your boyfriend and letting your greedy German pen pal get her mitts into him, thus spending the entire trip scowling at people (which indeed helps with the goth look you've recently adopted, but helps with little else). Wailing at anyone who will listen and drinking way too much beer (which you don't like anyway) and spectacularly fall out of a tree house in a drunken stupor.

It's also not advisable to wake up in a German household with a monster of a hangover, especially when your pen pal's, 3 older and cuter brothers have all dropped by to say Hi and are proffering plates of cheese and ham.

Finally it really isn't a good idea to agree to go swimming whilst still nursing a hangover and not knowing the German for either 'paracetamol' or 'kill me now' and subsequently throwing your guts up into the nearest bin in the pool reception.

This is not a good way to improve British/German relations – for pity's sake they lost the war, they don't really need some British bint barfing into a bin.

*Unfortunately by no means the last in the Jools is a Total tit series