04 February 2007

Jools guide to removal of Bingo Wings

1. Nice flabby pair of bingo wings
2. Will even suck up a sausage, dyson
3. Cat hair encrusted rug or carpet
4. Music (Jools attempted with Keane, but its too slow - sorry Bargain, I'm trying I really am)

1. Start music and ensure it can reach ear splitting volume and shakes your neighbour's walls as you'll need to hear it over the dyson
2. Sit on floor next to Dyson (in no way should this be attempted whilst in a standing position)
3. Switch on dyson
4. Push dyson (with long scoopy attachment, not the fluffy one) back and forth across rug/carpet in a frenzied motion
5. Repeat step 4 (and possibly step 1) as necessary
6. Have a cup of tea

Fantastically trim looking wings with only a hint of Boeing.*

*Or in the real world, fantastically aching and still flabby bingo wings with the added gamble of bruising.


corin said...

I used to work in a cellar in a pub. Didn't really think much of it, but I've recently discovered that I can't do anywhere near as many press-ups as I used to. I shall attempt your method, which will also increase the amount of housework I do, thus having the added benefit of pleasing the housemates.

Lord Bargain said...

will a Dyson suck up a sausage? Good heavens. What, like a normal banger or like a giant bockwurst?