23 October 2006

Cause I've been so lax recently

We'll do the great big - fall back on a meme thing to keep you all occupied...
Have you had sex in the past 24 hours? Chance would be a fine thing
Are you gay? Hmmm don’t think so, although I’ve never given it a go so who can say?
Do you have hairy legs? Generally no although at times I do resemble a womble
Do you smoke anything? Nope although I used to like the sweet cigarettes you used to get as a kid
Do you like monkeys? Depends on the type, what are those wee ones that looked permanently shocked? They’re kinda cute
How many fillings do you have? 2 I think and probably need more but haven’t been to a dentist for 16 years and can still open beer bottles with me gnashers
Would you rather swim in the ocean or a lake? Ooh ocean please, I always think of skinny dipping when you swim in lakes and then I think of lake placid!
Have you ever licked one of those square batteries? Err nope, actually don’t think I own anything that takes square batteries
Have you ever read the Bible? Can’t say I have, although as fiction goes…;)
Did you ever go to Sunday School? Nope too busy catching caterpillars or boys!

Do you wear a lot of black? Err I guess but also wear pink, blue and white a lot too
Did you ever bring a weapon to school? Good god no I would’ve got the slipper
Have you ever hugged a tree? In all probability yes and my mate when out with a bloke called Elm – does that count?
Do you know what a sphincter actually is? Ah huh
Describe your hair? Dark, thick, sheds like theres no tommorrow

Are you a wildbeast? Um well I don’t think I’m a beastie as such and probably not that wild anymore..so err no
Do you like to have fun? Depends on your definition of ‘fun’
Do you like drama? Oh indeedy
Have you ever taken a bong hit? Erm only passively!
Do you like mayonnaise? Indeed I do

Are you afraid to die? Shiit yes.
Do you like playing in leaves? Who doesn’t? Speshly with wellies on
Have you ever peed your pants as an adult? Do you know I think I probably have, through either alcohol or laughter, or both
Have you ever thrown up on somebody as an adult? Don’t recall having done so, I was brought up proper you know

Are you an adult? I severely doubt it
Ever won a spelling bee? No but would like to win a grammar caterpillar
Do you ever eat because you’re depressed? Not any more but do when I’m bored, which is often
Are you a television addict? I’m really not anymore, don’t watch soaps or reality TV so that doesn’t really leave a lot does it
Do you think OJ was guilty? Are leather trousers sexy? Come on at least ask serious questions

Do you enjoy spending time with your mother? Yeh she’s funky and loves me for who I am (someone has to I guess)
Have you ever had sex in a hot tub? No but I wouldn’t half like to give it a go
On a swing? Don’t think so but do have a hazy memory of a playground back in my youff
Do you like Elvis? Well not in the dead corpse kinda well, but yeh some of his music is pretty cool
Do you enjoy watching animals “do it” on the Discovery channel? Can’t say I’ve ever watched it, but great song!

Ever been hit on at a zoo? Can’t say I have and these questions are taking on a very odd sex and animals theme (that’ll get the googlers)
Have you ever had sex with a total stranger? No, swapped gum with one once but not sex
Do you enjoy the calming effects of turkeys? I actually think turkeys are pretty terrifying
Does your mom think someone is hot? Um she always used to quite like Axl Rose and now Jack Sparrow. See told you my mum is cool (oh and my dad, which is a bit sad)
Are you a sugar freak? Not so much so

Ever been arrested? No but have sat in a police holding cell (how coool is that?)
Ever commit a crime and get away with it? Yup
Do you like orange juice? Yup but not with bits in

What sign are you? Ooh I hate this question cause I’m one of those stupid cusp people. Yes I’m cancer/Leo cross…can you imagine a crab and a lion…one of the many reasons I am like I am
Ever do the party boy dance in front of the elderly? I wouldn’t of thought so as I don’t spend that much time with the elderly
Where do you wish you were right now? In my penthouse in London, having won the lottery and surrounding myself with shoes and agent provacteur undies

Did you enjoy this? Well apart from the question about OJ it was all quite riveting.


Gary James said...

Thank God someone else is scared of turkeys. A turkey is what you get when you cross a lion with a crab, you know.

Kell said...

Sat in a holding cell? Your life is officially way cooler than mine. But that's not say much, sorry.

Very funny meme.