30 August 2006

Meant to post honest...

really these people that you hardly know and then they getting chatting to you on email and before you know it you should be tucked up in bed with your horlicks and a cat for company... ;)
So as I need my sleep I'll give you one of those 'save for a rainy day' posts and save my proper post for tomorrow when I have time to finish it off.
*squeezles to all*

If you were a biscuit, what sort of biscuit would you be?

Ok I know it's a totally random question which started by a colleague and I commenting on a senior member of staff's ability to act like a garibaldi most the time.

I'd probably be some sort of fluffy jammy dodger, but perhaps with a bit of alcohol thrown in, my observations of biscuit tin personalities is such:
RichTea - would sit in the corner mumbling and trying not to be noticed
Pink Wafer -would act like Meltchett from Blackadder and go bah a lot or be the campest biscuit in the barrel
Garibaldi - arrogant and a wee bit geeky
Pink fluffy jammy dodger - French mademoiselle, complete with poodle
Jammy dodger - bouncy annoying teenager
Custard Cream - like your granny with her knitting
Chocolate Hobnob - annoying yuppie/city type with braces
Plain hobnob - yuppie type's geeky friend
Nice - says it all, dowdy/virginal type female

couldn't think of any other biscuits, cause I don't eat them - so suggestions on the back of a biscuit packet please.

13 comments:

realdoc said...

a fig roll
what does that say about me?

Hannah said...

Gotta be a Jaffa cake.

Is it a cake? Is it a biscuit? Always controversial.

Billy said...

Jaffa cakes are cakes. Didn't they prove it - something to do with them going stale when you leave them out, whereas biscuits go soft.

Can I be a chocolate digestive please?

skeadugenga/kate said...

Well I'd like to be a ginger thin or a bath oliver, but I'm probably shortbread, chunky and tough, but melts fast. Biscuits - how weird a conversation is this?

Lord Bargain said...

from: nicecupofteaandasitdown.com

Cake or Biscuit?

No discussion of the Jaffa Cake can be complete with out recourse to the age old cake or biscuit question. Or to put it another way if I don’t deal with this I’ll be getting emails about it till next Christmas. We’ve tackled this all before on the site and in our book but if you haven’t got round to reading either of those then here is a lightning quick summary. So deep breath here we go...

Surprise surprise the Jaffa Cake is indeed a cake which is why they named called it that. Its base is made from sponge cake, not biscuit, they must have been thinking about that when they called it a Jaffa Cake.

Yes, yes, we are only to well aware of the theory that biscuits take up moisture when the go stale becoming limp conversely a cake looses it becoming hard, thus proving the Jaffa Cake to be a cake as its bottom is made of sponge cake as we already know. This is all well and good but has several noticeable exceptions such as the Fig roll and so cannot be relied upon. Better just to say its a cake.

Equally enticing but flawed is the idea that cakes contain eggs especially sponges like in the case of the Jaffa Cakes sponge bottom. Therefore biscuits simply are eggless baked things. Well that makes the Almond biscuit a cake so no luck there.

I know they sell them along with the biscuits, in packs just like biscuits, and McVities is a brand of United Biscuits (who also make cakes) but it’s still a small cake.

Some people are confused by the size and think that to be a cake something has to be quite big. Well that’s just a slur on those big bags of madeleines favoured by Marcel Proust or Mr Kiplings more diminutive offerings such his 8 packs of French Fancies.

Yes the VAT man wanted it to be a biscuit. That way it would fall by virtue of its chocolate coat into a category of products liable to VAT at the standard rate, i.e. luxury biscuits. As a cake however it is zero rated for VAT, no matter how luxuriant, much to the VAT man’s continuing annoyance. In fact Wifey and I once had a chat with ex Tory Minister John Knott who brought in VAT when the Conservative Government of the time took Britain into the Common Market. He recalled that the whole VAT introduction went surprisingly well expect for the Jaffa cake which caused all sorts of problems. In 1991 the matter went to a tribunal (number 6344 in case you were wondering) in which the VAT man argued that the Jaffa wasn’t a cake and so should not be exempt from VAT (VATA 1983 Sch 5 Group 1 excepted item 2), trotting out all the old arguments. McVities countered with all of the other old arguments plus a specially prepared 12 inch Jaffa Cake, which focused the tribunal’s attention on the sponge base. The tribunal concluded that, while the product also had characteristics of biscuits or confectionery which was not cake, it had sufficient characteristics of cakes to be a cake for the purposes of zero-rating. (The tribunal also determined that the product was not a biscuit.)


Hope that clears this up. Billy, you were indeed correct.

I think I'd like to be one of those big Millie's Cookies, maybe with white chocolate pieces in. mmmm.

baggiebird said...

Mmm Malted milk preferably the chocolate coated kind !!! I really don't know what that says about me

GreatSheElephant said...

I'm a cream cracker.

Do you take your cats to bed? I'm scared to even try

Heather said...

A cinnamon and chocolate chunk cookie. Yummers as Billy would say.

Molly Bloom said...

I'd like to be a hob-knob.

Preferably a chocolate one...but those choccy malted milks are gorgeous aren't they baggiebird? Yummers, as Billster would say.

Jools said...

See I don't like malted milks at all and like I said I don't really eat biccies that much...quite like them golden crunch things with the cream inside, bit like Abbey crunch (who remembers them?) but with slurpy stuff.

I have no choice but for that cats to go to bed with me, even if I shut the door they still climb over me - I have some great photos to post at some point - plus one of them drools. Ah who'd be a cat owner.

GreatSheElephant said...

Mine overnight in the kitchen which is far enough away from the bedroom that I can't hear them (much)

Jools said...

I wish mine would stay in the kitchen but they're sly little buggers and like to bring me birds, or mice , or worms, or flip flops at about 3.30 in the morning

Kate said...

GSE, its not a case of taking your cats to bed with you. Its a case of hiding in your bed and hoping they don't come to "share" it with you, in which case you end up with 1ft of the bed and one single cat with amazing powers of physical projection has the other 5ft.