31 August 2006

99 truths and a lie

Ok so with total plagiarism from the endearing Lord Bargain - I bring you 99 truths and a lie - all you have to do is figure out the lie! (I was working on something similar for my 365th day of blogging, but hey fuck it I'll just do it now, originality not being my strong point).

And off we go.......
1.I own a tarot deck
2. 2nd and 3rd toe are longer than the first (sign of creativity apparently)
3. Would have been called Richard if I was a boy
4. Spent 3 months training to be a radio presenter before realising that my dream job was in fact not the dream for me
5. Wear a uniform at work
6. I own a cushtie and some drogna
7. Attended a premiere at Leicester Sq once
8. Have a fear of ventriloquist dummies, in fact they frighten the shit out of me, as do wax works 9. Started using the t'internet in 1997, have never looked back but did get warned about it in my annual appraisal at work (I was young)
10. I legally have 3 surnames which I can use at any given time
11. Once owned a mouse named Sperm
12. Have nicked a traffic cone and put it on the top of someone's car and then watched as hilarity ensued (it was an in joke)
13. Am not allergic to anything (as far as I know)
14. Never been hospitalised
15. Did however spend an hour in A&E waiting for a nurse on a Saturday night, after burning both my thumbs on candles.
16. Have swayed through the village of Sway
17. Met the ex whilst sporting green hair
18. Own a monster called Fred
19. Porn name would be Domino Atkins (doesn't really work does it?)
20. Love cats, hate cat related things
21. Don't like cold tea or lapsan schou schlong.
22. I don't like cushions on beds, what's the point you just have to take them all off again, I like me bed unadulterated.
23. I lost my virginity in a caravan
24. I had to see a speech therapist when I was a wee nipper
25. My school report always had comments like ' she chats too much'
26. I played lead flower in a school play
27. I haven't been to the dentist for 16 years
28. I can open any bottle, beer bottle with my teeth
29. I went on 'drama' holidays for 3 years running
30. I make regular donations to the RSPCA
31. At work I'm supposed to be the 'responsible one'
32. I need 2 hands to count the amount of lovers I've had
33. I was once give a bin bag full of porn (at work)
34. I got my brownie agility and tea making badges
35. I threw a 6ft tall boy over my shoulder
36. I've never voted
37. My middle name is Claire
38. I've had the same mobile number for 6 years
39. I've snogged a couple of my female friends
40. I have a 'thing' for doors and wardrobes
41. and showers
42. I've shot some pretty impressive big guns
43. I've never flown in a helicopter
44. I've been felt up on a stage in a nightclub
45. I've frequented a lap dancing club
46. I passed my driving text on April 1st
47. I've never had detention (well not at school anyway) ;)
48. I can't abide arrogance
49. I had myself removed from the school choir
50. Have been known to ask extremely loudly in bookshops 'Where are the sex books?'
51. Never been a bridesmaid
52. Love camping
53. I don't have any tattoo's
54. I've never had a one night stand
55. My mother stopped me being frightened by inventing the fairy ring of protection
56. My favourite book is still 'Fifteen' by Beverly Cleary
57. My parents had a fire alarm in their loft
58. I have no 'best friend'
59. I like men who look good in stockings
60. I've hidden in my bath before
61. Lived with 2 men (at the same time), having been romantically linked with both
62. Have 'done' a photo shoot with Miss Lovely Legs
63. Don't own a pair of wellies
64. Own a whip
65. Never been sacked
66. Type my blog but write my poetry in a big book
67. Got so drunk I went to bed half clothed (top half)
68. I've fallen down 2 flights of stairs in a silky dressing gown whilst executing a fire drill
69. I've been rescued by the coastguard
70. For years I couldn't say Mevagissy
71. or blow bubblegum
72. I wished I liked fish
73. I make a mean chilli
74. I like marmite but not twiglets
75. I think Edward Norton is quite possibly the finest actor ever
76. I always shorten people's names
77. I'm constantly surprised at the friendships I form
78. I'm massively self critical
79. I so need a snog
80. Like another blogger I also buy the Observer on Sunday and pretend to read the news bit but just read the review bit, magazine and sometimes travel - it too sits on my floor until a cat tries to eat it
81. I feel intellectually inferior to other bloggers
82. I boogle everywhere
83. I've seen the Rocky Horror Show 4 times
84. I own a ouija board
85. I have cow print tiles in my kitchen
86. and a comedy sheep called Neville
87. I once owned 7 cats
88. I'm scared of sharks
89. I broke my cats tail
90. I suffer from insomnia
91. I get mail sent to me addressed 'mad Jools' and it still reaches me
92. I've never lied on my cv
93. Hate reality TV shows and soaps
94. Wish I could still wear my hair in bunches and dye it blue
95. Have appeared as a waitress from Allo Allo on a carnival float
96. Never had a Saturday job
97. 'Lost' 3 days of my life to flu
98. Can't roll my Rrr's
99. Would love to go zorbing
100. Think brothels should be legalised

Ok, so sorry bout all of that, all a bit dull really and I ran out of steam towards then end - so come on then, which one is the lie?


POE said...

Number 74 - twiglets are just old, manky, crusty marmite.
(I don't like either)

That post must have taken a long time to type!! Many things possibly worth commenting on if I had more time bit I'll have to let other people have a go...

Lord Bargain said...

I'm going to go for number 63.

I do like number 95. Did you have to brush your chest against a slightly portly fella with a moustache and growl "Rene! Rene!" in a husky voice?

*mental image alert*

realdoc said...

If 28 is true then 27 must be a lie.

word ver= ggyadkgs skateboarders trousers

Jools said...

Gonna wait a few days before I post the answer, and not tell you if anyone's got it right yet....
Did take a while to write and I had to do it in 2 sittings, but actually you kind of get on a roll with it

kate said...

15. I can't believe you burnt BOTH thumbs - one maybe but not both.

Billy said...

Aaaagh... I don't know.

43. I'm going to guess 43.

Anonymous said...

Ohh now didn't I purchase Neville for you? *grin*

Sarah said...

Right.. think it's okay now. Neville.. my purchase.. ohh six years ago?
Great sheep.